i have been here many times before.

mother

She wasn't easy on me, don't get me wrong. She smacked me. She scolded me. She punished me. But she loved me. She really did. She loved me falling off a swing set. She loved me stepping on her floors with muddy shoes. She loved me through vomit and snot and bloody knees. She loved me coming and going, at my worst and at my best. She had a bottomless well of love for me. Her only flaw was that she didn't make me work for it. You see, here's my theory. Kids chase the love that eludes them, and for me, that was my father's love. He kept it tucked away, like papers in a briefcase. And i kept trying to get in there.

Love is an illusion, but I would willingly fall for it if I could believe in it.